There are a lot of things I wannabe, but a Rick Santorum wannabe is not on the list.

Which is why I have not worn a sweater vest this winter, and probably never will again.

Santorum has co-opted the sweater vest.

Before Santorum, the sweater vest was neutral political attire. Now, thanks to Santorum, the simple vest has become a right-wing vestment.

You can go to the Rick Santorum website and for a $100 donation get an official Rick Santorum sweater vest.

The vest is 100 percent cotton, made in the USA and is "perfect for demonstrating solidarity with true conservatives" and showing your support for Rick. The campaign claims to have sold about 1,000 vests so far.

Santorum is also selling orange hunting vests embroidered with the slogan "the right to bare arms." (OK, I have to admit that's pretty clever.)

In response to a question at a campaign stop, Santorum explained the sweater vest phenomena. He said he wore a sweater vest to an event in Iowa where he did particularly well and that afterward, people commented on it. "It sort of took a life of its own," Santorum said. "The vest gave me this power."

Here's hoping that what Santorum has done for the sweater vest, Mitt Romney will do for "mom jeans."

You Could Look It Up

Which are more dangerous, cows or sharks? On average, there are 16 shark attacks per year in the United States with one fatality every two years. In contrast, about 20 people are killed annually in this country by cows. In most cases, fatal cow attacks are the work of Great White Cows.

Eye Of Newt After Dark

I'm seeing the Newtster in a whole different light now.

I'm seeing him in a crushed red velvet smoking jacket with a while silk ascot lounging on a rotating round bed beneath a ceiling mirror in a softly lighted love nest as Barry White croons "Darlin' I can't get enough of your love, Babe."

What has turned me around on Eye of Newt is the interview ABC did with wife No. 2, Marianne, Thursday night.

Before that interview I thought the thrice-married former speaker of the House was just a cad. Now I see him as love machine, a man who is too much for just one woman to handle. Which, of course, explains why he asked Marianne to agree to an open marriage, an arrangement that would allow him to continue his affair with his then mistress and current wife, Callista. Marriane also claimed in the interview that Gingrich cheated on her with Callista in their Washington, D.C., bedroom.

All right, so maybe a better description of the GOP's smoothest operator would be love machine/cad.

Prediction

Patriots-Giants in Super Bowl; Pats get revenge.

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